Unhelpful Text Flatland How-To #2: Squeaker

Howdy, and welcome to the second in my thinly-distributed series of unhelpful text how-to's for flatland BMX tricks! Today's hard-to-understand description of a trick without any pictures to guide you is the squeaker.

If you're not familiar with squeakers, let me give you a brief description: It's a front-wheel trick.

Yeah, that's a horrible description. Here, I'll try to make it better:

It's a basic front-wheel trick.

There, see? Much better.

Try to visualize this:

You're riding forward at a very slow speed, and you put your dominant foot on its corresponding front peg. Since my dominant peg foot is the left, I'll just say to put your left foot on the left front peg, and leave your right foot on the right pedal. This puts the pedals in their correct positioning for the trick, perpendicular to the ground instead of parallel.

Once you've got the left foot on the pedal and you're ready, and haven't come to a complete stop yet; hit your front brake, push the bars forward so the seat smacks you on the ass, and take your right foot off the pedal, as simultaneously as you possibly can. Do not... I repeat, do not... try to use your foot on the tire to pull the tire back and force you into the right position. It might seem like a shortcut and make it a little easier on your arms, but you pay a price in terms of control when you do that.

So, yeah... you've just done all that, and you've popped into that position of having your left foot on the left peg, right foot on the tire, seat up your ass (not literally), and back wheel off the ground, and now you feel like you're just going to tip backwards and put the back wheel down; this is where the "squeak" comes in.

As you feel the back end wanting to drop back down to the ground, let go of the front brake and use your right foot to pull back a little on the tire. As you feel yourself about to go over the bars (or face-first into the asphalt), grab the front brake. Get into a rhythm: pull back on tire, grab brake, let go of brake, pull back on tire, grab brake. the trick gets its name from this technique, and the technique gets its name from the sound that well-dialed brakes make when they come into repeated contact with a well-cleaned chrome rim.

Mine sounds like a wounded goose with a head cold, but that's why I specified "well-dialed" brakes and a "well-cleaned chrome rim.

Note: this is not a "scuff", scuffing is a totally different technique. I'll get into that one later.

Repeat the squeaking technique until you start to lose your balance, or get tired. Try to keep the seat snug in your ass crack, don't let to back wheel flop around too much, and keep pushing on the bars with your arms. This is an arm trick, not a leg trick.

To ride out of a basic squeaker, grab your brake one last time and put your right foot back on the pedal; as the rear wheel falls to the ground, take your left foot off the front peg and put it on the other pedal. From here, you can either just muscle your way into pedaling forward, or roll back a tad and then just smoothly pedal your way out.

Once you get a handle on this one, you're starting to get that feeling of being in control of your bike, as opposed to being beholden to whatever the bike wants to do... kinda like that first taste of real beef after a baby's been fed strained peas for months.

Okay, have fun, and don't forget to grab the front brake when you're squeaking and smack your face on the ground!